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stope
By admin | March 10, 2008
stope
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Quo Vadis & Ve Lv� Stope $4.99 For everything you do, there's a song that hits the spot. MOG brings them all to you: a world of music on demand, unlimited mobile downloads and ways to discover music free from the limitations of Pandora. The music you love, with you everywhere you go. |
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Fight for Your Money: How to Stope Getting Ripped Off and Save a Fortune $29.2 No Synopsis Available |
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Wild Oranges $29.95 It's a pity that there are apparently no longer any public copies available of this suspense drama by King Vidor because at the time of its release, its sophisticated approach to filmmaking impressed critics and fans alike. It takes place at a bay near the Georgia swamps, where John Woolfolk (Frank Mayo) lands in his yacht. After the death of his wife in an accident he had taken a cruise with just one friend, Paul Halvard (Ford Sterling). When Woolfolk goes ashore for water, he discovers old Lichfield Stope (Nigel de Brulier) and his granddaughter, Nellie (Virginia Valli), who are virtually being held prisoner by Iscah Nicholas, a half-crazed, half-childlike homicidal maniac (Charles A. Post). Woolfolk tries to help the girl, but when he comes back to shore, he finds that Nicholas has killed Stope and tied Nellie to a bed. Woolfolk fights the brute and takes Nellie to his yacht, but Nicholas follows after them. He shoots at the boat, injuring Halvard, and is finally killed by a mad dog that breaks its leash and attacks him. ~ Janiss Garza, Rovi |
Stoping Your Divorce is Easier Than You Think
How to Have a Successful Marriage: Characteristics to show you the RIGHT way to save your marriage and to stop your divorce, Pt 5: Developing a Secure Sense of Self, Pt.2 - Your partner's mood
In Part One I wrote, "Generally when there's marriage problems & divorce is on the table or in the mix it's quickly clear to me that one (and usually both) partner has what's known as a "weak ego development". This doesn't mean someone isn't arrogant enough. It means they don't have a strong and fully developed internalized sense of themselves. What this means to you is if you don't have a strong and secure sense of self it's like your 8 y.o. version of yourself is still in charge. On the outside you may look like an adult, yet on the inside your thoughts, feelings, & attitudes are more reflective of a much younger version of you."
A second indicator of poor ego development, or, a weak sense of self revolves around your response (internal & external) to your partner's mood. when you or your partner have a weak sense of self this means to you your partner's mood dictates to you how you will respond. Your sense of self isn't strong enough to operate independently of your partner. What this means to you is a lot of your arguments and problems are a result of either you or your partner (or both of you) having a poor sense of self which is simply responding to each other's moods. This is a likely reason you or your spouse are looking to end your marriage - one of you (or both) is tired of dancing to your partner's beat.
If you or your partner is in a bad mood perhaps one of you feels you need to "walk on egg shells" because you don't want to upset them further. When your partner is angry you internalize their anger (meaning you think you caused them to get angry). Or perhaps for you your partner's anger symbolizes a need for you to make them happy; you want to cheer them up in some way, distract them from their anger, so they forget about their anger. Another possibility is your partner's mood dictates to you what you believe you can and cannot do. For example, if you partner's mood is unpredictable perhaps you check-in with them (disguised asking for permission from the perceived 'authority' or 'parent' in the relationship) to make sure it's OK for you to go get a drink with your buddy or to go shopping with your friend. Or if your partner is prone to anger or outbursts you don't speak your mind, share your feelings honestly, and avoid confrontation as much as possible; you ignore negative behavior out of fear your partner will basically rage.
If you have a weak sense of self your life is basically organized around your partner's mood out of fear of upsetting them (in your mind or reality). You don't advocate for yourself. You "play small". You ignore your real self; your real thoughts, feelings, experiences, wants, needs, desires, hopes & dreams - so much so you may be completely out of touch with them. Having less than a fully developed sense of self means to you your partner's mood is the sun in which your life revolves around. It doesn't take long for someone to want to leave because they have realized they are tired of being untrue to themselves & don't believe they can be real with their partner.
When your partner's mood dictates your response you basically play the victim because you have convinced yourself there is nothing you can do about how your partner responds. Perhaps you think to stand up to them is to be unloving or insensitive. Maybe to voice a complaint feels to scary, so you stuff it. Perhaps actually checking out your thoughts and sharing your experience with your partner in order to find out what reality really is is out of the question for you because you (again) fear their response.
When you order your life, making decisions & choosing your words and action carefully as a result of how you perceive your partner's mood is to live in slavery. You are a slave to someone else's anger, sadness, happiness, wants, whims, fears & anxieties. You exist simply to counter their mood. It's like a game of chess - they move one way and you counter as to avoid the potential outcomes (imagined or real).
Structuring your life according to your partner's mood is similar to what a child does. A child has very few options and is in fact less powerful than the parent. For the most part children are unable to meet their own needs, and so a unconscious fear of death is understandable. However, you're an adult. You have the ability to take care of yourself, to get your own needs met, to advocate for yourself, you have power. Yet because of your weak sense of self you allow your partner's mood to deny your own rights and abilities - even if your partner is a normal person with a normal expression of feelings; your weak sense of self still isn't able to handle anything other than positive, consistently predictable emotions.
If this sounds familiar to you I hope you are beginning to have compassion on whomever has the desire to end the marriage. It's no fun when you feel powerless and hopeless for change, and the easy answer (and sometimes it feel like the only answer) is divorce. Perhaps you both feel like you're walking a high wire around each other. Take hope - this can change - if you want it to, and will do what I'll show you to do.
P.S.: Was this helpful to you? Did you learn something new or were you reminded of something you needed to be reminded of? I'd love to hear your comments or questions! If there's someone you care about & think this might be a benefit to them as well, do them a favor and "Pass it on!"
About the Author
If you're tired of the way you've been unconsciously sabotaging your marriage - and you don't want to unconsciously sabotage your efforts at saving your marriage and stopping your divorce - then Brian is one of the most qualified specialists to help you. Brian has not only the skills, tools, education, and practical application - but also the personal experience necessary in helping to stop divorce and save your marriage.
Brian brings with him his own experience of being left by his wife - and now offers his insights and wisdom to you so you don't have to make the same mistakes. Learn from someone who's been where you're at - and who can give you "real world" practical wisdom and SOLUTIONS which will help you to get the real, proven, and LASTING results you really want so you can stop your divorce. You want someone with the "insider's knowledge" of what it REALLY takes to save your marriage - not some ideas or theories. Use the proven strategies and solutions Brian has discovered and get your marriage back on the right track so you too can get the abundance of love, joy, passion, peace, and happiness you really want!
Brian has personally spent over $100,000 of his own money in - as well as reading several hundred books & attending numerous conferences,
trainings, and workshops - learning, researching, and developing interventions, skills, and strategies for couples. Brian began his training and education of the right way to get couples from where they are to where they want to be right out of High School at the age of 18, and has continued to learn, test, design, and refine his systems and strategies for couples.
Brian is an author, has appeared on numerous national radio shows & is founder of the top website for real strategies for stopping your divorce,
http://www.SavingMarriageGuaranteed.com
P.S.: Ask YOUR questions about how YOU CAN Stop Your Divorce or Save Your Marriage at
brian@SavingMarriageGuaranteed.com
P.P.S: Want more great Tips, Strategies, & Solutions? Go to the top site for the resources to help you get the results and success you want at
http://www.SavingMarriageGuaranteed.com
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